Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Why? Almost every person I have met since has asked me this question when they find out I am converting. Though an understandable question, It always seems to be asked as sort of a reflex. It doesn't matter when or where we are, it just immediately erupts out like an "what happened" When someone passes. Both of these questions seem normal to the person asking, and (in my view point) are the opposite for the person being inquired upon. "How could you just ask in passing about an event in my life that has so altered it that it has become unrecognizable?" This is sometimes what goes through my head as it must for someone in the other scenario. now the difference between the two is obvious, one is a tragedy with only the healing of the wound to look forward to. whereas, In my case, The former is also experience that is painful and tragic but at the same time somehow beyond words. and this is the trouble, it is beyond words.
I always try to answer as best I can. It tell them about Torah Mitzvos, and Avodas ''. I also try to give them a rundown of the last 5 years or so that I've been moving in this direction. AS true as these answers are, none of them ever seem to encompass why. Why I want, Have, need to be Jewish. All I want to shout is "IT IS NOT A LOGICAL DECISION!" I did not choose to want to be Jewish. Any proof I could ever need of this comes from the hardest person to answer this question to, my Mother. Telling your crying mother why you just have to do something that, to her, means you won't be in heaven with her, that means you can never eat her cooking from her kitchen, and that she is going to have to spend all the holidays with the family without her oldest son is not something that is logical or easy. This is part of the story I do not usually share because it is not easy to explain. What there could be that would cause me to make this decision. I love my family very much, and we still have a good relationship, but there will always be a wedge between us. My family will always be the most important thing in the world to me, but this will always be there.
Despite all of this, It is the issue itself that comforts me. Thoughts of being able to wrap tefillin, getting an Aliyah, having my purpose in this world being making it truly better through Torah and Mitzvos. The thought that one day I get to (G-d Willing!) Have my own family, my own children! I will be able to give them something I never had, a Jewish home! I can Serve G-d in everything I do, and try to live my life as the best frum Jew, the best chossid I can be. I expect to fall sort of this goal as a Chossid unfortunately more frequently than I would like, becoming a Ger means that now you are a Jew that makes mistakes, instead of just a person that makes mistakes. but nonetheless, I would rather fail 100 times at being a good Jew, than face life as a perfect non-Jew. I want all of these things and I can't really tell you why because I don't really know. But I do know that whatever it takes to become this, I will do.
There is a lot more I would like to say about this but I'm tired and about out of time. I hope that no one thinks that I don't want to be asked this question "why?" I do! Its just that when I hear it, I am flooded with all of this and more and just can't seem to find the words, if there are any, that can really convey what is in my head and heart.
sorry about the long and random post, I just have been asked a lot recently and been found wanting for an answer, so I just needed to say this. and so everyone knows, I wouldn't trade my life for anything. I hope every has a great shabbos! and I will be wishing I was spending it with my favorite people. take care!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
"Today, I have submitted my official formal request to the council to cancel the election result," the moderate politician was quoted as saying.
"I urge you Iranian nation to continue your nationwide protests in a peaceful and legal way."
Ahmadinejad was declared the winner by a wide margin, with figures from the interior ministry showing he had taken 62.63 per cent of the vote, while Mousavi garnered only 33.75 per cent.
Ahmadinejad defended the conduct of the election at a news conference at the presidential office in Tehran earlier on Sunday.
He also questioned Mousavi's claims that the vote was "rigged".
"It is not clear how they are questioning the participation of 40 million people in these elections," he said.
"I have still not been shown any documents by anybody, they are just saying the outcome is unexpected."It is like football, everybody expects their team to win."
Noting that Ahmadinejad's analogy was of a football ground, he said: "There may be plenty of people within your field of vision but that doesn't mean that they are the majority of people in the country.
"So he doesn't really seem to think that there is any question that the majority of people within the country are behind his position and his political policies and this election has proved it to him.
"So he doesn't seem to need to reach out or make concessions with anybody who doesn't agree with that."
Robert Fisk, a journalist with the UK's Independent newspaper, told Al Jazeera that Ahmadinejad was repeating the point that the high turnout proved that he was in the majority.
"But many of the people that did vote believe that the vote was switched," he said.
"So it was not the turnout that proved that Ahmadinejad is a popular president. It is what the figures actually were. And that of course is what is still being disputed.
Fisk said one Mousavi supporter had pointed out to him that "if the figures were being counted properly on Friday night, five million votes would have had to have been counted in two hours".
On the ground, thousands of Iranians took to the streets in a second day of violence, fighting running battles with riot police in protest against the election results.
Ahmad Reza Radan, Tehran's deputy police chief, told the official IRNA news agency that at least 60 people had been detained over the rioting and more arrests would be made soon.In Tehran police confronted about 200 stone-throwing protesters.
"Forces used tear gas in some areas to stop the unrest. The situation is under control," Radan said.
Al Jazeera's Alireza Ronaghi, reporting from Tehran, said that IRNA was reporting that a committee led by two senior supporters of Mousavi was organising the riots against the election result.
"Whether this is really an honest outburst of anger against the outcome of the election we don't know yet, but what we see is a major crackdown on reformists and their leaders," he said.
Mohammad Reza Khatami, the brother of Mohammad Khatami, a former president, was among the members of the Islamic Iran Participation Front, which won more than 100 seats in the 290-member parliament in 2000, who were arrested.
"They were taken from their homes last night," Mohammad Ali Abtahi, a former Iranian vice-president, said.
Sadegh Zibakalam, head of the Iranian studies department at Tehran University, told Al Jazeera that the demonstrations were largely "spontaneous" responses to the election result.
"No one is giving them commands, no one is ordering them, no one is leading them," he said.
"Nevertheless, the government has started a crackdown on the leading reformist figures ... The government reaction is too harsh, but it is understandable."
Monday, June 8, 2009
Here are the pictures from the Scheita today!! exciting eh?
And here are some pictures of the kids I taught before I left nashville!
Sorry about the lack of posts. yeshiva is a all consuming experiance. though i did have an interesting eveing spent with the tomchi bochurs, Very interesting conversations they have. oh and There will also be a video of the scheita when i can get the computer to work!
Friday, June 5, 2009
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Thats about how much time i have on the computer. anyway yeshiva is wonderful and i have a fabulous chassidus chavrusah. aside from that im just studying (24 hours a day) halachos (of everything) and learning to translate gemara and sichos (i can already read them!) I did get to go to a lovely lchaim that had the best of people attending while listening to a great shiur. oh and it was great meeting certain people last week and thanks for your...paitence. congradulations to the new chazzen and kallal! I wish you guys all blessings in life one can have. hope everyone has a good week! Oh and i saw a picture of a wedding that I absolutly loved :) I'll post when i can! (I don't know why I posted like you people don't know who im talking about)